When do you know it's time to start over?
If you're thinking about moving to a new city.
I’m no stranger when it comes to starting over. I have moved across the country three times (attending college at a small town in Pennsylvania, going to graduate school in New York, and finally deciding to move to the Washington D.C. area). While these all sound like huge transitions, I always had the mindset that if it doesn’t work out, I could always move back. This philosophy has driven me to some of the most incredible, life-changing experiences, and more importantly, it has given me the courage to try in the face of uncertainty.
Changes aren’t as permanent as we think they are. You could always leave a job, find a new apartment, or drop out of school. Yes, all of these are easier said than done, but I would rather be uncomfortable temporarily than feel miserable in the long run if I had chosen to stay.
My decision to leave New York was multi-faceted. It started on a solo bus ride journey to Washington D.C. The day before that ride, the guy I was dating had told me he had developed feelings for someone else. My heart dropped. We were supposed to go on this trip together, but after he had given me this news, I had decided to end the relationship and go on this journey on my own.
Around the same time, I was thinking about leaving my job as a receptionist at a law firm. It was hard to say goodbye to a job that provided stable income, benefits, and free food. I’ll get more into detail about changing careers in another article, but for now, I’ll say that corporate environments aren’t for me.
On that bus ride, I realised that there was nothing really keeping me in New York anymore. No job, school, or relationship. I found it incredibly challenging to be an actor in New York, because you’re competing against people with years of experience. I felt that my efforts would be better spent in a smaller market.
So how do you know if a city is right for you? I recommend at least visiting the city for a weekend. I know visiting a city is different from living there, but you can still get a sense of what you would do in your free time, how to navigate the city, and what kind of personalities you might encounter. I still remember getting off that bus and asking a staff member for directions to the Metro, and they had showed me how to download the app on my phone and walked me towards the subway station. That small gesture speaks volumes about the city. I had honestly not experienced that level of kindness in New York. In fact, New Yorkers would confidently give me the wrong directions.
Something just clicks when you’re in a place where you belong. You don’t have to force anything or be someone that you’re not. You are accepted as who you are. I have to say that has been my experience since coming to the DMV. I found that my personality and empathy works well as a personal trainer. My acting background in New York has prepared me for the auditions in D.C. and Baltimore. The people I’ve met have been so welcoming and open to meeting new people. It doesn’t feel like I’m starting over, but instead, I’m coming back.
